Our need for love: H H Dalai Lama

I came across this very thought provoking message by His Holiness The Dalai Lama.....I felt the need to share this with my blog visitors. This and many more wonderful thoughts of HH Dalai Lama are available on the site http://dalailama.com/ Dr Nirmal Gupta, Lucknow.

Ultimately, the reason why love and compassion bring the greatest happiness is simply that our nature cherishes them above all else. The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. It results from the profound interdependence we all share with one another. However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent one may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when one is sick or very young or very old, one must depend on the support of others.

Interdependence, of course, is a fundamental law of nature. Not only higher forms of life but also many of the smallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law or education, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innate recognition of their interconnectedness. The most subtle level of material phenomena is also governed by interdependence. All phenomena from the planet we inhabit to the oceans, clouds, forests and flowers that surround us, arise in independence upon subtle patterns of energy. Without their proper interaction, they dissolve and decay.

It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence. Therefore we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others.

We have to consider what we human beings really are. We are not like machine-made objects. If we are merely mechanical entities, then machines themselves could alleviate all of our sufferings and fulfil our needs. However, since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes fo; happiness on external development alone. Instead, we should consider our origins and nature to discover what we require.

Leaving aside the complex question of the creation and evolution of our universe, we can at least agree that each of us is the product of our own parents. In general, our conception took place not just in the context of sexual desire but from our parents' decision to have a child. Such decisions are founded on responsibility and altruism -the parents' compassionate commitment to care of their child until it is able to take care of itself. Thus, from the very moment of our conception, our parents' love is directly in our creation.

Moreover, we are completely dependent upon our mothers' care from the earliest stages of our growth. According to some scientists, a pregnant woman's mental state, be it calm or agitated, has a direct physical effect on her unborn child.

The expression of love is also very important at the time of birth. Since the very first thing we do is suck milk from our mothers' breast, we naturally feel close to her , and she must feel love for us in order to feed us properly; if she feels anger or resentment her milk may not flow freely.

Then there is the critical period of brain development from the time of birth up to at least the age of three or four, during which time loving physical contact is the single most important factor for the normal growth of the child. If the child is not held, hugged, cuddled, or loved, its development will be impaired and its brain will not mature properly.

Since a child cannot survive without the care of others, love is its most important nourishment. The happiness of childhood, the allaying of the child's many fears and the healthy development of its self-confidence all depend directly upon love.

Nowadays, many children grow up in unhappy homes. If they do not receive proper affection, in later life they will rarely love their parents and, not infrequently, will find it hard to love others. This is very sad.

As children grow older and enter school, their need for support must be met by their teachers. If a teacher not only imparts academic education but also assumes responsibility for preparing students for life, his or her pupils will feel trust and respect and what has been taught will leave an indelible impression on their minds. On the other hand, subjects taught by a teacher who does not show true concern for his or her students' overall well-being will be regarded as temporary and not retained for long.

Similarly, if one is sick and being treated in hospital by a doctor who evinces a warm human feeling, one feels at ease and the doctors' desire to give the best possible care is itself curative, irrespective of the degree of his or her technical skill. On the other hand, if one's doctor lacks human feeling and displays an unfriendly expression, impatience or casual disregard, one will feel anxious, even if he or she is the most highly qualified doctor and the disease has been correctly diagnosed and the right medication prescribed. Inevitably, patients' feelings make a difference to the quality and completeness of their recovery.

Even when we engage in ordinary conversation in everyday life, if someone speaks with human feeling we enjoy listening, and respond accordingly; the whole conversation becomes interesting, however unimportant the topic may be. On the other hand, if a person speaks coldly or harshly, we feel uneasy and wish for a quick end to the interaction. From the least to the most important event, the affection and respect of others are vital for our happiness.

Recently I met a group of scientists in America who said that the rate of mental illness in their country was quite high-around twelve percent of the population. It became clear during our discussion that the main cause of depression was not a lack of material necessities but. A deprivation of the affection of the others. So, as you can see from everything I have written so far, one thing seems clear to me: whether or not we are consciously aware of it, from the day we are born, the need for human affection is in our very blood. Even if the affection comes from an animal or someone we would normally consider an enemy, both children and adults will naturally gravitate towards it.

I believe that no one is born free from the need for love. And this demonstrates that, although some modern schools of thought seek to do so, human beings cannot be defined as solely physical. No material object, however beautiful or valuable, can make us feel loved, because our deeper identity and true character lie in the subjective nature of the mind.

Each Child is Childhood

"Each Child is a childhood and we must work day and night in all adversities to make their childhood happy" Dr Nirmal Gupta

Religon and Happiness

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. His Holiness Dalai Lama

"Being happy is a practice. Being unconditionally happy is a practice too: "Come what may, today I'm going to smile. Anyway, everything is going to die! Everything is going to vanish and disappear---so what! Who cares! Let me at least be happy, smile this moment, enjoy my very breath." Sri Sri Ravishankar

Concern for Rishu, from the world over

Pankaj Jaiswal, Hindustan Times
Lucknow, September 18, 2008
First Published: 01:08 IST(18/9/2008)
Last Updated: 01:10 IST(18/9/2008)
Readers’ response to little Rishu’s story that appeared in Hindustan Times on Wednesday is overwhelming. From local residents to people from the US and even China have expressed wish to help the child and his mother.
Rishu’s father abandoned the three-year-old child and his mother Sangeeta Singh, when he came to know that the child had a hole in his heart. But Rishhu and his mother found refuge, when the management of a mosque ‘adopted’ Rishu and Sangeeta. Soon, devotees started collecting money for his treatment.
The mosque management also wrote to the Prime Minister’s Office, which quickly sent Rs 50,000. The Kamdhenu society at the Sanjay Gandhi Post Graduate Institute for Medical Sciences, too, extended Rs 10,000. The operation has been scheduled for October 29.
soon after the story appeared on the Hindustan Times e-paper, the first email came from Rahul Gupta. He wrote from Shenzhen in China, “I would like to know … where I can give some money to help and try to get some from other people also.”
Nirmala Walters, whose e-mail did not specify where she is based, wrote, “Help me to reach my help to the child and his mother.” Sanjiv Diwan said, “Please forward me the address were I can send my humble help for Rishu.”
SS Kushwaha from Delhi wrote that he would like “to undertake all the expenditure in connection with the treatment of the boy… and all other costs, including the maintenance of the poor mother.”
 
© Copyright 2007 Hindustan Times

During Ramzan, praying for a Hindu child

Pankaj Jaiswal, Hindustan Times
Lucknow, September 17, 2008
First Published: 00:08 IST(17/9/2008)
Last Updated: 00:12 IST(17/9/2008)
 A small mosque in a nondescript corner of this city is a playground for three-year-old Rishu.
When all the 'rozedaars' line up in the mosque and offer namaaz, Rishu finds the spaces between them like a maze. He loves getting lost in the maze and emerges with glee. None of the devotees finds his antics distracting.
In fact, all the devotees at this mosque pray for Rishu's life during this holy month of Ramzaan.
Rishu, a Hindu boy, has a hole in his heart.
At his age, he does not know that his heart has a hole. But the day his father came to know about it, he abandoned his son and wife Sangeeta Singh. The family lived in Lodipur Sharifabad, Haidergarh, in Barabanki district of Uttar Pradesh.
Rishu's father, a daily wage earner vanished to Dehradun to work in a soyabean factory and remarried.
One night, six months ago, Sangeeta's in-laws too ousted her with the child. She had lost her parents in childhood. Without money or hope she came to Lucknow. She visited several hospitals. Finally, the Balrampur Hospital examined the child and referred the case to the Sanjay Gandhi Post Graduate Institute of Medical Sciences (SGPGIMS).
And in a twist of fate, someone took her to the Amber mosque a kilometer from the institute, suggesting that the mosque could help her bear the expense of a costly surgery on Rishu.
Shaista Amber, president of the All India Muslim Women's Personal Law Board (AIMWPLB) brought the mother and child to the mosque and began struggling for them. On her insistence, the Samajwadi Party's Akhilesh Singh Yadav wrote to the Prime Minister's Office. The officials sent her Rs 50,000 from the PM's relief fund.
Rishu needs more money for surgery on his affliction -- a complex congenital heart disease.
"Actually, the hole is just one problem in this complication. There are three other associated problems. The corrective procedure is one of the most high-risk operations," said Dr Nirmal Gupta of SGPGIMS, who is to operate on Rishu on October 29. Dr Gupta is counted among the world's top pediatric heart surgeons.
Shaista Amber said: "There is no dearth of prayers but we need money too. We are trying to raise more. I wish people come forward to help."
Rishu has become the cynosure of all eyes at the mosque. Everyday, he awaits 'roza iftaari' time (breaking of the fast). This is the time that 'rozedaars' vie with each other to give Rishu dates and other things to eat.
Shaista said once it so happened that a Hindu woman gave birth to her child on the mosque premises. Some priests started saying the mosque had become unholy. "I thought the childbirth at the mosque made it even holier," she said.
Sangeeta did not speak much but said: "Allah must save my boy."
© Copyright 2007 Hindustan Times

Camps must go on

Recently, I have been diagnosed ruptured intervertebral disc which has dessicated at L5-S1 level but committments for patients which has been made 3 months in advance must be honoured and therefore I am travelling for camp sites lying flat in car for 700Kms in in day to continue to see heart patients. I must mention here that Dr Tanveer Hussain has been a great support despite his ROZA's who is also accompanying me. My next camp is in Azamgarh on the 21 September 2008.